Not even a mastermind could help the Secret Racegoer

The Secret Racegoer enters deepest Devon to experience the delights of Exeter racecourse, but the day posed a number of questions

It was the Secret Racegoer’s first trip to Exeter racecourse, situated just under nine miles from the west country county town, and it presented a number of questions that required answers.

The best person to ask should have been The Racing Hub’s very own Gary McKenzie, given that last week he won his first round of BBC2’s Mastermind.

However, the questions posed by the Secret Racegoer would not have been McKenzie’s chosen specialist subject. He went for cricketer Douglas Jardine. And they were certainly not in the sphere of general knowledge.

So, how to categorise them? Answer, and it’s the only one you’ll get here, is rhetorical.

The first question was when the Secret Racegoer mentioned to some racing friends and turf egg-heads that he was going to be making his debut visit to the Devon track.

Surprise

He was greeted with looks of pity, surprise as in “are you sure?”  Th were wishes of good luck, both in terms of finding winners and getting through the experience.

A train journey of over two hours from the smoke to the land of cream teas, and meeting up with the courtesy bus to the racecourse, if the train arrived on time, might be something of a challenge.  Only connect was all that was asked.

GWR (God’s Worst Railway) trains are often the weakest link. But the Exeter service arrived on time. Things were looking up.

The two promised buses were waiting and set off on time towards Haldon Hill, the location of the racecourse.

But Haldon Hill, and every other hill, presented the double-deckers with an almost impossible task.

Grinding

Another question. Why had two buses been put on a route where they almost ran out of puff before finally grinding their way to the racecourse?

They wouldn’t stand a chance getting up to Bath racecourse.

As the bus turned off the A38 into the racecourse, there was a spontaneous round of applause from the passengers on the Secret Racegoer’s conveyance.

It was a show of appreciation similar to that for a runner who has plodded around in a boggy three-mile race and finished in his own time.

Jettisoned

So, after 30 minutes, here was the Secret Racegoer at Exeter racecourse, once called Devon and Exeter but the county element has long been a total wipe out.

Ready to greet the Secret Racegoer off the bus was his delightful companion for the day, who’d spent most of the weekend changing her mind about the route she was going to take from her north Devon home and where to meet up.

The questions that came to mind were best not asked.

However, a further question formed. Why do people go to a racecourse where you can see, with naked eye or binoculars, little more than the home straight?

Disappear

The runners disappear into a dip that takes them out of view as they go down the back straight and into the home turn.

It seems a recent meeting was held on a foggy day but it made little difference to those in the stands. Bit of a blankety blank.

And, with forecast showers, why go to a racecourse which offers little protection from the elements?

But nevertheless, there was a healthy crowd and a good buzz about the place.

The Secret Racegoer also wanted to know if, being in the heart of Devon, it was acceptable to purchase a Cornish pasty?

Hesitation

It seems so, as the delightful companion had little hesitation in ordering the neighbouring county’s savoury.

The threatened rain materialised, and a tipping point was reached. Devonian racegoers headed to the bars and the delightful companion and the tourist from south London joined them.

As the clouds parted, a rainbow brightened the dark sky and it seemed that going for gold would be best undertaken amongst the bookies.

As for the racing, let’s cut to the chase. The Haldon Gold Cup to be precise, the highlight of the track’s season and one of the joys of jump racing – a decent race run midweek.

But why run it as the third race, at 1.55, on a seven-race card? It seemed pointless.

Difficult

Ensuing questions centred on why is it so difficult to find winners at Exeter? There were no friends to phone – they’d already declared it a non-betting event. The Secret Racegoer was not on top of the form.

And throughout the afternoon there was a lingering query – will the bus get the Secret Racegoer back to St David’s station in time for the train home?

It did. Ok, so that’s another answer, but the journey was down hill so it seemed quite likely.

There was yet another question. But this was later in the week at Sandown. A customer in the Annual Members bar was asked if they wanted a “red white wine or a white white wine?”

What’s my wine indeed.

♦ The Secret Racegoer was talking to Mike Deasy who had his own question. Why did he have to listen to such drivel?